Navigating Tryout Season:
The Emotional and Mental Impact on Athletes
Author: Dr. Julie. Sorenson, DMFT, MA, LPC
As the vibrant season of tryouts approaches, athletes and their families find themselves navigating an intricate maze filled with a swirling mix of emotions and towering expectations. Each athlete’s journey through this critical juncture is as unique as a fingerprint. Some possess an innate talent that allows them to glide effortlessly into their choice of teams, while others work diligently to earn their place through coachability, strong community ties, and the admiration of both peers and mentors. Eager beginners burst onto the scene like bright, unpolished gems, filled with enthusiasm and ready to embrace the thrill of a new sport. Meanwhile, developing athletes pour their hearts and souls into refining their skills, driven by an insatiable hunger to better themselves. Competitive and advanced players thrive under the spotlight of high-pressure environments, showcasing their prowess. At the same time, some gifted individuals grapple with a lack of motivation, anxiously waiting for their passion to reignite. Then there are the dedicated athletes whose hearts pulse with a fervent love for the sport, even if their natural talent doesn’t shine as brightly as others. Their unwavering commitment and resilience truly distinguish them.
Regardless of where an athlete falls on this spectrum, the experience of tryouts can cast a lengthy shadow over their mental health. The immense pressure to perform, to secure a coveted spot on a team, and to meet the weighty expectations—whether from themselves, their parents, or their coaches—can lead to an overwhelming wave of stress and anxiety. Parents play a vital role in this emotional labyrinth, providing support and fostering open conversations that can help alleviate the burdens of uncertainty.
The emotional toll of tryouts often reveals itself in physical manifestations—racing heartbeats, stomachaches, throbbing headaches, and a disinterest in food. Some athletes become paralyzed by a profound fear of failure, which engulfs them in a thick fog of self-doubt, making even simple tasks feel insurmountable. The crushing weight of expectations can cloud their focus, hampering their ability to shine and showcase their true potential. They may wrestle with the insistent pressure to not only meet but surpass their personal bests, compelled by relentless comparisons to themselves, their teammates, and their competitors.
Engaging in this comparison game can take a severe toll on an athlete’s self-esteem, deepening feelings of inadequacy or envy. For those who do not make it onto a top-tier team, negative thoughts can rapidly invade their minds: “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never match their skill.” Such damaging self-perception distorts their confidence and undermines their sense of self-worth.
As the emphasis shifts from relishing the sport to merely securing a spot, the looming specter of burnout emerges. When playing transitions from joy to obligation—driven by the expectations of parents, coaches, or peers—the very essence of what made the sport enjoyable is stripped away.
Parents: Support, Don’t Live Through Your Child
One of the most significant pitfalls for parents is the temptation to live vicariously through their children. It’s only natural to desire the best for them, but their athletic journey should be a path of their own, not a second shot at fulfilling a parent's unrealized dreams. Every child is an individual with their aspirations—some may not wish to follow in their parents’ footsteps at all, and that should be respected.
Each child deserves the liberty to choose a sport or activity that sparks genuine fulfillment, rather than being pushed into one based on a parent’s aspirations. While some parents may fantasize about their child becoming the next Alex Ovechkin, Aaron Judge, Caitlin Clark, or Nelly Korda, the stark reality is that very few athletes will reach elite professional levels—and that’s perfectly okay. Sports should be a canvas of personal growth, enjoyment, and life lessons, not merely a race for fame or scholarships.
Parents must attune themselves to their child’s unique talents, interests, and limitations. Some children might find their passion outside the realm of sports, and that should be honored. Others may gravitate toward a different sport than what their parents envisioned, and that should be celebrated. The ultimate goal should be to nurture a child’s passion, not to thrust them into an activity that doesn’t ignite their enthusiasm.
Prioritizing Mental and Emotional Well-Being
The sting of disappointment from not making a team, or even any team, can trigger gnawing mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and concerns surrounding body image. To combat these struggles, athletes should be encouraged to prioritize their well-being through restful sleep, mindful relaxation techniques, and wholesome nutrition. Most importantly, they must be reminded that their worth is not solely defined by their athletic achievements. Their identity is a rich tapestry that extends far beyond the boundaries of the sports they play.
Fostering open, honest communication is imperative. Athletes need a safe harbor where they can express their fears, take risks, and acknowledge their emotions free from any fear of judgment. Remind them that setbacks are but transient hurdles and that their journey in sports, much like life, is a continuous voyage of growth, resilience, and discovering joy in the process.
At the end of the day, sports are merely one chapter in a much larger story. For most athletes, the competitive journey will conclude long before they’re prepared to turn the page and walk away. For those who continue to pursue sports at a higher level, the love of the game should remain the beating heart of their journey.
Finally, empower young athletes to take ownership of their choices, whether that means switching teams, adjusting their level of commitment, or even exploring passions beyond sports. If you notice signs of anxiety, depression, or emotional distress, it’s important to seek guidance from a mental health professional who can help navigate these challenging waters. Parents play a vital role in this emotional labyrinth, providing support and fostering open conversations that can help alleviate the burdens of uncertainty.