Arguing in Front of Your Child
Can be Devastating for Young People
Author: Dr. Julie. Sorenson, DMFT, MA, LPC
Children are always observing and listening to everything you do and say. Your behavior and the way you treat others will greatly influence how they behave and treat others. It's important to be mindful that children are always watching and learning from your actions.
When children hear their parents argue, they can feel lonely, sad, and scared. They may even blame themselves for the arguments. This can lead to increased anxiety and a need to be perfect. Continuous exposure to arguments can cause prolonged stress, which can negatively impact children's ability to handle stress and regulate their emotions.
It's natural for arguments to occur in relationships, but it's crucial to handle them constructively. Using "I" messages to express feelings, taking time to listen actively, and agreeing to take a break if things escalate can model healthy conflict resolution for children.
Even when arguing constructively, it's best to avoid doing so in front of your children. It's important to find a private space or time to discuss disagreements without your children present. Seeking couples counseling can also provide valuable tools for better communication.
Ultimately, it's important to create a positive environment for children by modeling healthy communication and addressing any slip-ups by talking to your child, apologizing, and providing them with the space to express their feelings. Additionally, seeking therapy for your child or yourself to learn self-regulation skills can be beneficial for their overall well-being. If you're unfamiliar with therapists in your area, you can use resources like Psychology Today to find a suitable therapist.