Dealing with a Parent’s Diagnosis of Dementia

Author: Dr. Julie. Sorenson, DMFT, MA, LPC

As a child, no matter how old you are, it is difficult to watch your parents or caretaker deteriorate. This can be one of the most challenging experiences in life. We perceive this person as strong, thus witnessing their decline can feel overwhelming.

As their condition progresses, you may need to consider providing outside help for them, such as memory care or nursing homes. It can also be frustrating when they can't remember conversations or daily activities. Many individuals wonder if their parents will continue to remember them, and the memories created. Some may even feel annoyed or scared, realizing that their parents won't be around forever.

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It is important to prioritize self-care and acknowledge your emotions when your parent is sick. Exercise is an effective way to alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression as it releases feel-good endorphins. While it's okay to experience anger or any other emotion, it's essential to know how to manage and react to these feelings. Taking time for yourself is crucial during this challenging period to avoid feelings of resentment and better attend to the needs of your parent.

 

You may also be grieving the loss of who your parent was before their illness. It's important to recognize this grief and seek support if needed. Dealing with a parent who has dementia can be particularly painful, especially when they don't remember shared experiences. Anticipatory grief and ambiguous loss are common in such situations, and it may be helpful to shift your mindset to accepting and loving your family members as they are now, rather than yearning for who they used to be.

 

Moreover, it's common to experience changes in your identity when dealing with such stressful situations. If you're struggling with a parent's dementia diagnosis, it's essential to prioritize self-care, accept things beyond your control, and seek support if you're experiencing anxiety, depression, or stress. Consulting with a mental health professional can help you understand and manage your feelings, providing you with tools to navigate through this challenging phase of life.

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