Healing After Losing a Loved One!
Author: Dr. Julie. Sorenson, DMFT, MA, LPC
Grieving Comes in Many Shapes and Sizes
Grief is profound pain that follows loss. This pain can feel even stronger around the holidays. Loss comes in many forms; we grieve for multiple reasons and reflects what we loved. Losing a person who has left us can be very difficult, but grief isn’t limited to losing a loved one. The loss may have been something that we saw coming from a long-term illness, or one that took us by surprise. People grieve the loss of a pet, job, or significant possessions. We may be grieving because of divorce or our children moving out of our home. Grief hits us when that special person that we thought would be a part of our lives forever, ghosted us without explanation as to why. We may have lost a friend because our lives took different roads. Moving away because of a new job and leaving our old life can be challenging, causing us to grieve our old lives. There are many forms of grief and reasons why we need to grieve a part or parts of our old life so we can transition to our next chapter.
Stages of Grief
The question isn’t about why we are grieving, but how we navigate through the grieving process. There are five stages of grief. We may go through these stages in order, skip a stage, or go in between stages. Not everyone follows the stages of grief as we all process grief differently. However, many people experience denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
When grieving many people experience denial, anger bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Understanding the difference between grief and depression is key to healing. While some symptoms of grief and depression overlap. Sadness and a loss of capacity for doing the things that once were enjoyed can occur. Some people experience insomnia, not being able to sleep, and loss of interest in eating or taking care of oneself could occur. However, symptoms of grief tend to be more temporary and lessen over time while the symptoms can continue if experiencing depression. Part of the grieving process is thinking that “life is unfair or “I’ll never get over this. It is important to recognize your emotions but not allow them to guide your actions and know when to reach out to a therapist for additional support.
Symptoms of Grief
Experiencing symptoms of shock or denial about the loss is a common reaction when you have lost someone special to you. Emotional turmoil or guilt and confusion are common. There is no timeline for grieving, just as it isn’t possible to avoid the suffering. When people try to suppress or deny grief it only prolongs the process adding additional emotional discomfort. Similarly, the mindset that more grief is better can make the process much more difficult.
Some people experience short term grief also known as acute grief and may have the pain return unexpectedly later. Other people may experience prolonged grief which could last months or years. Isolation and loneliness can occur without help or support.
Often somatic symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, irritability, or chills. Many people experience the feeling of anger while they are going through the grieving cycle. Many people have expressed that when they lose someone they love they feels like there is a hole in their heart and feel
When grieving many people experience denial, anger bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Understanding the difference between grief and depression is key to healing. While some symptoms of grief and depression overlap. Sadness and a loss of capacity for doing the things that once were enjoyed can occur. Some people experience insomnia, not being able to sleep, and loss of interest in eating or taking care of oneself could occur. However, symptoms of grief tend to be more temporary and lessen over time while the symptoms can continue if experiencing depression. Part of the grieving process is thinking that “life is unfair or “I’ll never get over this. It is important to recognize your emotions but not allow them to guide your actions and know when to reach out to a therapist for additional support.
Supporting Someone that is Grieving
Grief is experienced in many ways; therefore, it is important to resist judgement or to suggest closure. Offering help and acknowledging the loss can be helpful. Being a listening ear, allowing the person grieving to feel that they can speak their truth can be healing. Sharing memories can be comforting to those grieving. Allowing the person grieving to cry. Crying can be a good way to release toxins from the body. Additionally, having an activity list for mood of things that you can do when it is difficult to get your mind off the loss is helpful. Our brains know we need to do something, but oftentimes we are overwhelmed in our thoughts and having a visual list of activities can be beneficial.
Suggestion they take time for themselves is important. Things they can do to help them process the loss are journal, practicing gratitude, looking for places that socialize, have some tea, try a new activity, or start new traditions. Around the holidays the start of new traditions can help the healing process. Reminding them they don’t need to go through the loss alone. No matter how long your grief lasts, and each person is different, there is a time where the loss will feel less. There could be times when a memory pop up that makes you feel like your heart skips a beat. Eventually, you will work through the pain of the loss and come to a place where you can accept the loss and look forward to the future.
As always if you are struggling and need further assistance please don’t hesitate to contact a local mental health professional or look for grief groups in your area. Therapists are willing to walk alongside you.
Some people experience short term grief also known as acute grief and may have the pain return unexpectedly later. Other people may experience prolonged grief which could last months or years. Isolation and loneliness can occur without help or support.
Often somatic symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, irritability, or chills. Many people experience the feeling of anger while they are going through the grieving cycle. Many people have expressed that when they lose someone they love they feels like there is a hole in their heart and feel
When grieving many people experience denial, anger bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Understanding the difference between grief and depression is key to healing. While some symptoms of grief and depression overlap. Sadness and a loss of capacity for doing the things that once were enjoyed can occur. Some people experience insomnia, not being able to sleep, and loss of interest in eating or taking care of oneself could occur. However, symptoms of grief tend to be more temporary and lessen over time while the symptoms can continue if experiencing depression. Part of the grieving process is thinking that “life is unfair or “I’ll never get over this. It is important to recognize your emotions but not allow them to guide your actions and know when to reach out to a therapist for additional support.